Friday, May 27, 2011

Fun Friday

Welcome to Fun Friday. Here's a selection of puns to make you smile - or groan.

Have a great weekend!

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in
Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.


  1. Elspeth - Oh, these are wonderful. The linguist in me is doing a little jig and giggling right now. You should see it! Thanks for sharing theses.

  2. Margot; I'm always pleased when a post is jig-worthy.

  3. Hehe. I think I´ll have to steal these because they will make a really good spelling exercise for my students ;)

  4. Dorte; I'm so grateful English is my first language! Steal away.

  5. So clever - wish I could think up witty jokes like that!

  6. 'Tis a pleasure to read,
    A chuckle from wit.
    From your good deed,
    A smile that fits.

    Thanks for sprucing up my day.


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