Here's a list of actual English subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong.
- I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
- Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
- Gun wounds again?
- Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
- A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
- Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
- Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
- Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
- Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
- You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
- I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
- You daring lousy guy.
- Beat him out of recognizable shape!
- I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
- Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
- The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
- How can you use my intestines as a gift?
- This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert floor for your aunts to eat.
- Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.
- Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
I think my fave is "you daring lousy guy". It is such an endearing mixture of love and hate. I also like "quiet or I'll blow your throat up." I may have said that to my sweet patootie last night. Yep, snoring again. thanks for the laughs - they are better than anything.
ReplyDeleteJan; I think "Gun wounds again?" would make an interesting title, but I can't pick a favourite. (although it could be "I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken"). You have my sympathies about the snoring as I know all too well of what you speak.
ReplyDeletehahaha! Love this. You truly are the entertainer, Elspeth. So glad we 'met'! The second last one had me splutter my beer. (it's 11pm, here in Greece)
ReplyDeleteElspeth, you've done it again! How do you have time for this stuff?
ReplyDeleteMaribeth
Giggles and Guns
Elspeth - This is richly hysterical! Thank you : ) : ). I needed a laugh. For some reason I can't identify, I like this one:
ReplyDeleteI'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
It's hilarious!
Where do you find these hilarious ideas. I love reading your posts.
ReplyDeleteCD
Karen; Good choice. Have a great weekend.
ReplyDeleteAA; I'm pleased we've 'met' as well! I'm thrilled I caused spluttering. That's a win. You're in GREECE??? I'm just a tad envious. Okay, I admit, more than a tad.
Maribeth; Huzzah! As to answer your question - it's worth the time to read comments like yours!
Margot; Aren't they great? I liked that one too - threatening, yet honest about skill-levels. You've got to admire that.
Clarissa; Thank you for saying such a kind thing and I find these Fun Friday gems out and about on the internet.
OK, Elspeth. It's after 6 when I'm reading this. I have a beer in my hand. I take a swallow. Part of it came out my nose.
ReplyDeleteToo funny!
Very funny indeed.
ReplyDeleteThese are hysterical - I love the fire aimlessly line - awesome! :)
ReplyDeleteCarol: SCORE!!!
ReplyDeleteJW; Isn't it?
Jemi; It's a classic, in it's own way.
Thanks Elspeth. Here is Botswana we often get DVDs with an option to have the Chinese English translation at the bottom (not sure why) but they are very distracting a extremely funny. We watched one of the Harry Potter movies like that- my stomach was aching.
ReplyDeleteThose are really funny! Some I could figure out what movie they came from. Some...I don't know what the actual translation would be.
ReplyDeleteHelen
Straight From Hel
the first one almost killed me :))
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely a day-brightener.
ReplyDelete