Monday, August 1, 2011

The Best Laid Plans...



THE PLAN

  • Get up early.
  • Write.
  • Achieve stunningly large word count.
  • Prepare nutritious and delicious meal for family.
  • Spend evening planning tomorrow's writing.

THE REALITY

  • Get up at regular time.
  • Stumble down stairs to discover pet has thrown up something brown and lumpy on the kitchen floor.
  • Clean up brown and lumpy mass.
  • Whilst going to throw cloth you used to clean up brown and lumpy mass into the laundry, glance into hallway mirror.
  • ERROR. ERROR. Self-esteem plummets to new low. Resolve to: a)Remove mirror, b)Remember not to look at mirror in the morning, c)Wear sunglasses at all times.
  • Throw cloth into laundry basket. Idly wonder why children who complain about having nothing to wear are somehow able to achieve Mt. Everest in laundry in a single day.
  • Grab cup of coffee.
  • Turn on computer.
  • Open document holding your manuscript.
  • Minimize document so you can quickly check your emails.
  • And Twitter.
  • And Facebook.
  • Make necessary replies or comments on all three sites.
  • Now for a few games (just to warm up your brain)
  • Children enter room and remind you it's lunchtime.
  • Feed and water children. Children retreat.
  • Drive one child to friend's house. Whilst in car, realize out of the seven ingredients you need for dinner, you have one in the house.
  • Drive to grocery store.
  • Buy far more than you meant to.
  • Return home and unpack groceries.
  • Realize you neglected to buy the six ingredients you needed.
  • Decide it's an 'eat the refrigerator' dinner i.e. leftovers.
  • Sit back down and reopen manuscript.
  • Type one sentence.
  • Get up and make tea.
  • Drink tea.
  • Play a few more computer games.
  • Dinner time.
  • Watch DVD with various household members.
  • Focus on the writing. WARNING: This could be another error - if it's very good, you will be discouraged; if it's very poor, you will be very angry.
  • Go to bed.
  • Resolve tomorrow you will have a new plan.

13 comments:

  1. What's really sad? I can manage this same procrastination with no animals and only me in the house. *sigh*

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  2. Sad to say I have many days that follow a very similar path in one way or another. Gotta laugh and keep going.

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  3. Elspeth - You've obviously been following me around, haven't you? I really think your last point is the most important. As Margaret Mitchell's Scarlett O'Hara says, Tomorrow is another day. (Did you know O'Hara used that as the book title?)

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  4. This was really funny. It's amazing, isn't it, how one can find so much to do instead of facing THE PAGE. :-)

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  5. Brown and *sticky* mass it was - how did you know? Some kind of oil in the garage. Plus getting a new car, getting rid of old car, having unexpected visitors for tea/coffee, and a little book launch.

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  6. Or you discover your website isn't working and have to figure out who to report it to and how. And you get a notice that your promo ad is up, so you have to make sure it's working properly (it isn't). And because it's the 1st of the month and all your sales reports for your e-books revert to zero, you have to keep checking every site to see when someone buys that first book of the month.

    Terry
    Terry's Place
    Romance with a Twist--of Mystery

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  7. Mary; I don't call this procrastination, I call this life!

    Carol; What would we do if we didn't laugh? It saves little scraps of sanity.

    Margot: I *did* know that - did you know her first name for Scarlett was Pansy?

    Elizabeth; It is amazing, isn't it? Ah well. Self-knowledge is a good thing.

    Dorte; Everything else pales beside a book launch! How exciting!

    Terry; Oh noooooo! I know what it's like to have those reports revert to zero; it's so depressing!

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  8. Elspeth - I had heard that about Mitchell's choice for Scarlett O'Hara's name. I'm glad that wasn't the final choice...

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  9. If I'm lucky I can get a couple hundred words down before reality sinks in, but...yeah.

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  10. The key is to keep expectations low so you can always be an overachiever. :)

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  11. I'm with Lauri. I have been known to add things to my to-do list after I've done them, just so I can cross SOMETHING off :)

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