10 Steps to...

You woke up with that feeling...today you will write and you will write well.

Step #1: Get out of bed as the echo of the trumpet call is still ringing in your ears.

Step #2: Remember legos - that wonderful, educational toy that your children played with when they were small? Remember how you were sure you cleaned them all out?

Step #3: Now relive the agony of stepping on one of those little **&&#ers in your bare feet.

Step #4: Remember now you're in one of the still-slumbering children's bedrooms. You can't scream...or give loud voice to that poetic phrase that leapt to mind.

Limp downstairs.

The coffee carafe is empty.

Step #1: This is fine. You can rise above this. Your ancestors have survived storms, starvation, etc. You can certainly get the coffee out and refill the canister.

Step #2: There is no coffee. None.

Step #3: Try to ignore the panic that threatens to engulf you. Breathe.

Step #4: Remember you hid a jar of instant coffee for emergencies such as this.

Step #5: Grab the jar and try not to notice that you are hunched over it protectively whilst hissing "My preciousssss..."

Carry the steaming mug of magical elixir to where you will write.

Carefully place the mug down on a flat surface.

You know what's going to happen...don't you?

Step #1: To hell with those trumpets. Go back to bed and try again later.

Stupid trumpets.