Wednesday, September 12, 2012

End of Sohow*


The sheep explain why this blog is going silent for the foreseeable future. I'll be back if I've something to announce - let's hope that day dawns sooner rather than later. As for now...back to actual writing - not writing about writing.  Thanks to all of you for reading this blog and...

stay tuned.

Be well.


Silence. Darkness.

WRITER: (timidly) Hello?

Silence.

WRITER: (louder) Hello?

Silence

WRITER: (even louder) Is anyone here?

There is the flash of a match being struck and a lantern lit in the distance. A white shape becomes visible.

SHEEP #1: Yes?

WRITER: Are you one of the writing sheep?

SHEEP #1: Yes.

WRITER: I thought you lived somewhere else.

SHEEP #2: We’re everywhere.

SHEEP #3: If you need us, we will come.

SHEEP #1: That’s dangerously close to plagiarism.

SHEEP #2: It’s a phrase which has become part of the vernacular which a huge compliment to the author of said phrase.

WRITER: Can they not handle the truth?

SHEEP #3: (pointing a hoof) Don’t start.

SHEEP #2: Ignore them. (takes a step forward) How can we help?

WRITER: I just wondered…

SHEEP #1: Don’t use that word.

WRITER: What word? Wondered?

SHEEP #1: No; just. 

SHEEP #2: We hate that word.

SHEEP #3: It clutters up manuscripts.

WRITER: Sorry.

SHEEP #1: Don’t worry. This is your first draft. ‘Just’ at will.

WRITER: I wondered what you get asked the most.

SHEEP #2: Our best bits of wisdom?

SHEEP #3: Our greatest hits?

SHEEP #1: Easy. Stop reading about writing and write.

WRITER: Excuse me?

SHEEP #2: Why? What did you do?

SHEEP #1: Did you leave a mess? Do we need a mop?

SHEEP #2: Have you ever noticed that the mop looks a lot like Uncle Murray?

SHEEP #1 & #3: Poor Uncle Murray.

WRITER: What happened?

SHEEP #1: It was a tragic case of A Fence Too Far. Well, too high, really.

SHEEP #2: We’ve digressed.

SHEEP #3: Sorry.

WRITER: You were saying…

SHEEP #1: Writers need to write. It sounds simplistic, but it’s not. It’s far easier to read about writing or write about writing --

SHEEP #2: Or talk about writing.

SHEEP #3: Don’t get me started. Get thee behind me, Facebook!

SHEEP #1: If you want to finish something, then finish it. Writing is work. 

SHEEP #2: Sometimes I think it was easier when writers were up in their chilly attics, pounding away on their typewriters.

SHEEP #1: Or dipping their pen nibs into bottles of ink.

SHEEP #3: Taking a break to warming their chilblained fingers before a flickering coal fire.

All three sheep sigh.

SHEEP #1: But now, you’re all posting status updates and commenting on blogs and tweeting and pinning and complaining you’ve got no time to write.

WRITER: You’re right.

SHEEP #1: Of course we’re right. 

SHEEP #2: We’re the sheep.

SHEEP #3: Go away now. Write.

WRITER: Yes, sir. (writer leaves)

Sheep #1 blows out the lantern. In the dark:

SHEEP #2: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.


*It's a Sorkin thing.



15 comments:

  1. Writers do need to write! Hope you'll enjoy the writing....we all understand about needing to back away from the social media for a while. I'll miss you and the sheep, too, though. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Elspeth - The sheep have much wisdom. Go with what you need to do. I will miss you, though - and them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Writers write. And I do worry that the internet is just one big black hole for sucking time and energy that could be used to write. Brave of you to go cold turkey and really test that. Best wishes, happy writing, and we'll be here when you decide it's time to come back (and the sheep let you).

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm just coming off a month-long blog break and seeing this. Kudos. I'm sure we'll hear and see the rockets announcing you have something to say. Now write!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is so brilliant - I love the sheepiness of your sheep! I think I would like to say this but instead I dither about - sort of blogging, sort of visiting but not really. It may be wasting time - it may be discombobulation. I hope you have good news and will think of you beavering away ... er ... sheepering away at your desk. With your leaky handmade pen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey kiddo - still in there somewhere? I used your sheep as my source for Tip from the Top Thursday - with full credit given to you of course. Hope that is okay - I found them so insightful and funny and WRITE ON!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am visiting from Jan's blog she recommended the sheep. I love them, very wise animals. Writer must write I agree, I'll go in a minute I just have a couple more blogs to check out and then....

    Great to meet you :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. The sheep are wise. I popped by from Blood-Red Pencil. I am taking these words to heart 'stop reading about writing and write'. The sheep are wise.

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