Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Before You Write

You're about to write. Congratulations! But...have you...

• Checked the mail. There could be good news awaiting you in your mailbox. Or, there could be bills.

• Eaten something. I've learned its best to eat toast before I put my fingers on the keyboard. Crumbs are sneaky.

• Popped online just for a minute. Oh look, its been an hour.

• Fed your pets. They will know the minute you start to write and will come and sit at your feet, giving you their best pleading look. Ignore them at your peril.

• A beverage near to hand. The choice of beverage is up to you, but I warn you certain beverages lead to rather colourful writing.

• A wall nearby, so its easier to bang your head against it. Frustration happens.

• A large dose of patience. I usually discover I've never brought enough.

• Something small (or large and soft) to throw against the aforementioned wall. Choices are always good.

• Privacy - especially if you, like me, mutter while you write. If you can't have privacy, make sure you're able to withstand the curious sideways glances from strangers.

• A sense of humour. Whether you direct it into your writing, or at your writing, it will keep you sane. Of course 'sane' is a relative term.


  1. All so very true. I read these for a laugh and to postpone the blank word document. Did you write hem for the same reason? :>)

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  3. I love these and they are all so true. A great list to remember. Thanks for the laugh.

    Thoughts in Progress

  4. Elspeth - Those are all important. I think it's also a good idea to clear the area around your desk before you write. There could be miscellaneous papers and so forth that could take a whole 1/2 hour to file away, and you could find that coupon you were looking for two weeks ago that's just expired.

  5. Margot; I completely agree. There's nothing like that fuzzy feeling of finding the expired coupon to inspire one's writing.

    Mason; I'm pleased it amused you. I try!

    Karen; The wall can be vital. For many things. Best of luck!

  6. Crying is on an equal par with muttering also. Strangers tend to cringe when you cry in public.

    Wonderful list! I'm so glad you pointed out that sane is relative...

  7. Perfect list, especially the part about choice of liquid. I've finally learned to stick to coffee or tea until I'm off the Internet. :)

  8. Laura; I've learned to give strangers a steely glare. This tends to make them want to keep their distance.

    Patricia; It's a bitter lesson, but one we all must learn.

  9. As usual, these are incredibly funny. Thank you.


  10. yep, and lock the door and walk the dog and feed the chickens too. gosh, what writing?

  11. Clarissa; You're far too kind. Thank you.

    Jan; I forgot about the chickens! Now I feel dumb. Wow. For a writer, that's probably not the best word to have chosen. Now I'm cursed.

  12. I think I need that wall to bang my head against, for sure!

  13. HA! I think I do most of these things. :)

  14. Oh course, I **never** do any of these!! For me: Facebook, Twitter -- in that order -- email, the blog -- no wait. The blog comes first! Not that I have an order of how I avoid work!! LOL

    Good piece!! I think you nailed it!!

    Jacqui Jacoby

  15. Sane is definitely relative! At least I know I'm not alone in my padded room!

  16. You forgot "play just one game of solitaire--until you win"

  17. Haha! Exactly! Are you spying on me? :)


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