Friday, March 23, 2012

Fun Friday


You may have seen some of them before but they are all worth reading again


These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

 
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill 
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." -  Winston Churchill in response. 

A Member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
 
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
 
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
 
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow
 
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
 
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
 
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
 
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."     - Oscar Wilde
   
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
 
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
 
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."     - Irvin S. Cobb
 
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."     - Samuel Johnson
 
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
 
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
 
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
 
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
 
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."     - Mae West
 
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."     - Oscar Wilde
 
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."  Groucho Marx

 

9 comments:

  1. Elspeth - Oh, these are absolutely wonderful!!!!!!! I adore clever use of words like this. I couldn't even tell you which I like best 'cause they're all so wonderful. Who the f*** needs to use those four-letter words anyway ;-).

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  2. I have seen some of these before, but they are so wonderful, I never can see them too many times. Isn't it a shame our language is dwindling down these days to such a meager vocabulary. I love the sly humor in these snippets you shared.

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    Replies
    1. They are examples of the quick wit I wish I had. Sigh.

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  3. I love these delightfully snarky barbs! Always good for a chuckle!

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    Replies
    1. You can't go wrong with a snarky barb. Have a great weekend!

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  4. So awesome. I can't figure out which is my favorite.
    Happy Weekend!

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  5. Oh to be as witty as this - without having to think about it for hours first :-)

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