Thursday, September 16, 2010

10 Activities for the Writer with a Cold

10. Invent adventurous ways of torturing the person who gave you the cold.

9. Try writing. Observe even though you're typing slowly, you are still able to make typos. Decide this is a sign of your exceptional talent. Then sneeze.

8. Celebrate that brief shining moment of being able to breathe through your nose when the stuffiness switches from one nostril to the other.

7. Try writing again. As you stare at the keyboard try to discern whether your head is spinning clockwise or back and forth.

6. Stop expecting your cat to care. Cats don't care. Cats just want to be worshiped.

5. Turn on the television. Watch a few minutes of daytime programming. If you're me, this is rapidly followed by inserting a DVD.

4. Drink gallons of warm liquids. Feel sorry for yourself that no one is making the soup, tea, etc. for you. Decide this is wrong.

3. Wander through your home (trying not to drop tissues behind you a la Hansel and Gretel) and renovate it in your mind.

2. The terrifying cost of #3 will drive you back to your computer. Try to write.

1. Decide to give one of your characters a cold. That'll show 'em who's boss.


  1. 10, 4 and 1 is what I have been doing all week. Tomorrow, I', going to try 3 and 2.

  2. Rayna; Good luck - and feel better!

    Terry; Forewarned is forearmed.

  3. See? You have me laughing again and annoying the cats because I'm not talking to them.
    These are so true. I don't have a cold but allergies feel just the same. Achoo!

  4. Elspeth - I'm sorry you have a cold :-(. I think these are all great pieces of advice, too. And may I add: flip through a trashy magazine. Comfort yourself by knowing you are far brighter and more interesting than 90% of the people in the magazine. Take a nap with the magazine upside down on your chest.

  5. I was going to add #1 if it wasn't listed! But my favorite is #10! I'm working through a cold now, too...Hope you feel better!


  6. SO many are so sick right now that they will find this funny.


  7. I have the same symptoms, but I think mine is an allergy attack. Seems to happen with ragweed season. Sneeze.


  8. LOL, El - you never cease to amaze me with your sarcastic and clever sense of humour! :)

    Hey - still want to host a stop on my tour next month? Haven't heard back from you, but would still love to do it. Give me a shout if interested, okay?

  9. #9 cracked me up! Great list Elspeth! I hope you feel better soon. Try this:

    Boil water
    While it is boiling put honey, whisky and lemon in the tea cup (lots of honey, though not as much as the whiskey)
    All the boiling water and drink.

    The HOT makes it go right to your head and opens your sinuses.
    The lemon is for your immune system
    The whiskey kills germs and makes you care less that you feel lousy
    The honey just makes it taste good (plus, if it is LOCAL honey, helps innoculate you against local pollens, so in spring this ALSO works for allergy colds)

  10. Get better soon.
    This is very funny BTW!

  11. Boy, are you right about #6.


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