From Winston Churchill:
"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
"Golf is a game whose aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose."
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
"I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks."
Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Mr. Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it."
From Agatha Christie:
"An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her."
"I've always believed in writing without a collaborator, because where two people are writing the same book, each believes he gets all the worry and only half the royalties."
From Erma Bombeck:
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
"All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them."
"Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to anyone?"
"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."
"In two decades, I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
"It goes without saying you that should never have more children than you have car windows."
"My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first is hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
Have a wonderful weekend. See you Monday.