Welcome to another edition of Fun Friday. Today I'm sharing something my eldest daughter emailed me.
I hope it makes you laugh. I certainly did!
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bast**ds.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.... For now.................
I like that!! My kids asked why I was smiling such a goofy smile :)
ReplyDeleteAlan; I KNOW!
ReplyDeleteJemi; Isn't it great?
Karen; I have cats. I'm convinced this is true.
Thanks for the levity. It did make me laugh. Whoever wrote this sure does understand dogs and cats. The diaries could have been written by my pets. My dog, Poppy, has so many favorite things I can't keep up with them. And any one of our cats could have penned the cat diary.
ReplyDeleteI couldn´t help it - had to laugh.
ReplyDeleteHa! So funny. Captivity. They look at you like that sometimes.
ReplyDeleteMaryann; It makes you think, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteDorte; Nothing wrong with that!
Carol; I'm eyeing my two cats with a new level of fear.
Elspeth - This is truly funny! It's exactly right on target, too. That's why I have dogs, not cats ; ). Dogs really are wonderful in that they love you no matter what kind of a day you've had. Cats plan world dominiation.
ReplyDeleteMargot; Which is exactly why I have cats.
ReplyDeleteOk, how did you get a hold of my cat's diary? (rest her soul)
ReplyDeleteElisa; The cat in the picture looks amazingly like my old cat Harold. (gone, but never forgotten)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs, Elspeth! Those diaries are so true. Although, one of my canine pals is a Border Collie, and there is a fair bit of attitudinal (is that a word?) cross-over behavior.
ReplyDeleteMy darling kitty once gifted me with a live mouse. I was in bed at the time and felt something move on my back...
Deb; What a darling. Shudder.
ReplyDeleteOh just what I needed. I can see one of my cats fitting that description. She sits and stares out the window and is constantly under foot.
ReplyDeleteOh-my-Lord. You are not going to believe this, but this is loaded into my Blogger board to run at midnight!!!
ReplyDeleteYou and I were clearly separated at birth.
Okay, let me revamp mine a little. :)
E
Mason; It does force you to take a good look at your cats, doesn't it? There's a reason they can see in the dark.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth; LOL!!! I think it's also a case of great minds thinking alike! Sorry for the extra work.
OMG! LOL, I'm causing a stir here in the library cuz I keep busting out laughing. These are precious. Gotta save this one. (wink)
ReplyDeleteMarvin D Wilson
LOL! I choked on my breakfast cereal when I read that. Too funny and too true!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so typical of a dog and cat. Very funny.
ReplyDelete