Monday, June 21, 2010

The Uncalled For


Low, menacing laughter is heard in the dark.

Voice #1: We're heeerree!

Writer: Who's that?

Voice #2: We're no one. Ignore us.

Writer: Seriously. I'm not a fan of hearing low menacing laughter in the dark.

Voice #3: Sorry.

Voice#1: Don't say that. We're not actually.

Writer: Who are you?

Voices (all together): We're the self-doubt pixies.

Voice #1: We make you think your writing is useless.

Voice #2: And pointless.

Voice #3: And just plain bad.

Voice #1: Haven't you noticed us? We've been here for quite some time.

Voice #2: We've set up camp.

Voice #3: We've decorated.

Voice #1: We're very fond of our window treatments.

Writer: I thought someone was here. My writing is...

Voice #1: Not going well, is it?

Writer: No.

Voice #2: You're stuck, aren't you?

Writer: No. Not stuck, exactly. Just...

Voice #3: Afraid to go on?

Writer: Yes.

Voices (all together): HIGH FIVE!!

Voice #1: We win.

Writer: I'm afraid you might. What if all this work has been for nothing? What if I've been fooling myself?

Voice #2: Indeed. (long pause) What if?

Writer: I just have to believe in myself.

Voice #3: Yeah, 'cause that's always been easy for you.

Writer: That was uncalled for.

Voice #1: We're uncalled for. No one calls for us. We just show up.

Writer: This sounds familiar.

Another Voice: Hey! Get out of here!

Writer: Who's that?

Sheep #1: It's me. I've got the whole flock behind me. Look out. We're mean.

Voice #1: We're mean too. We carry pointy things.

Sheep #1: We've been here longer than you. We're going to make sure the writer achieves her dreams. We are sheep. Hear us roar.

Writer: This is ridiculous.

Voice #1: Why?

Writer: I write mysteries. I don't write fun, fanciful tales. And yet, I've got self-doubt pixies and sheep battling over me?

Sheep #1: Ironic, isn't it? Go back to work.

15 comments:

  1. Ha, ha! Send those feisty pixies away. Just don't send them to Texas, please.

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  2. Oh, Elspeth, I love love love you. You just keepon keeping on, girlfriend and send those self-doubt pixies packin'.
    karen

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  3. Carol; I'm fairly sure they have passports. Be wary.

    Karen; Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for saying that! I'll try.

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  4. Those pixies scare me! I think you should strengthen your alliance with the sheep. :)

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  5. ooh, I used to dream about pixies when I was a child - all from that frightening poem "The Pixies will get ya if ya don't watch out." by some guy that wrote in the thirties. He also wrote 'Jes Fore Christmas I'm as Good as I Kin Be" which I used to recite as a child. Weird.
    I do not do not do not want pixies. Feed them cookies - that'll shut them up. Of course, it means feeding yourself cookies but hey - nothing is really easy is it? As for those sheep - who knew they were so ... gallant?

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  6. Elspeth - You hear the voices ! I thought I was the only one with the self-doubt pixies. Thank goodness for those sheep!! And thank goodness for other writers like you who understand what it's like.... Now go away, Pixies!!!!

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  7. I SO needed this right now! They visit me all too often. I start thinking, "Maybe I should abandon this book. It's not working anyway. I'll just start a new one!" But I find if I force those doubts away and keep going, I'm always better for it.

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  8. Gotta get some pixie repellent. Keep writing.

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  9. Stephanie; You have pixies too? Please tell me how to get rid of them. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

    Al; The sheep rock. That's all there is to say.

    Terry; It just comes down to that, doesn't it? *takes deep breath*

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  10. Those little pixies are something else. They don't realize how quickly you can eliminate them though or change them into crime-fighting pixies.

    Mason
    Thoughts in Progress

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  11. I notice a trend in the blogosphere today. Those self-doubt pixies and monsters are everywhere!

    But just ignore them- they go away soon enough. I hear they're easily lured away by chocolate.

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  12. Mason; Crime-fighting pixies! Now there's an idea.

    Stephanie; Chocolate seems to be the solution for many writing problems. Why is that?

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  13. I don’t know how you keep coming up with all these hilarious scenarios that I can so easily identify with, but I’m so glad you do. They’re definitely a day brightener.

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  14. *chuckling* Oh, I love it! I was going to offer you a half used bottle of Doxycide, but it looks like your sheep have it well in hand. YAY for roaring sheep!

    I have a tic-tac-toe set I bought in Wales that the pieces are sheep and dragons. It is terribly cute. I love the idea of fierce sheep.

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