Thursday, June 17, 2010

Skippy's 10 Things


Other writing blogs will give you tips on how to improve your writing. How to develop your characters. How to muscle on through to the end. How to be productive.

Ha.

Today, your evil twin Skippy brings you 10 things to do instead of writing.


10. When was the last time you looked at your high school yearbook? Find it. This will either be a fond nostalgic trip down memory lane or a reason to go buy boxes of liquor.

9. Realize your house will never be as clean as the one you grew up in. Get comfortable with this thought while lying on the couch and watching the dust motes surf the air.

8. Reach into the back of your refrigerator and open that plastic container. You get 10 guesses on what it used to be. Bonus points if it has developed a pulse.

7. Go outside and marvel at how fast the weeds are growing in your garden. Consider how much easier your life would be if it was socially acceptable to just grow weeds instead of flowers.

6. Can you guess how many stairs there are in your house? Try. This might be important knowledge some day.

5. Think about how many writing projects you are presently working on. Although you are not actually writing at the moment, this will make you feel productive. Celebrate this productivity with a cookie for each project.

4. Start composing the thank you speech for the many awards you will receive one day. Practice your winning smile in front of a mirror while holding a shampoo bottle.

3. Turn on the TV and cruise up and down the channels. Remember when you were a teenager and there was always a good show on? When did this change?

2. Find out how many odd socks are sitting where ever you keep odd socks. Notice how the pile has grown since the last time you looked. Nope. Still no matches.

1. Wonder what your pet is thinking. Really wonder. Now, get a bit nervous and slowly leave the room.

10 comments:

  1. Elspeth - Oh, these are wonderful alternatives to writing : ). I also do this: Open the refrigerator door and, without looking closely, estimate how much of what's in there is out of date. In the interest of hygiene and health, get rid of out-of-date food. Realize that the refrigerator is now empty, and go buy more food.

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  2. Liquor rules. And I just wrote a four-letter word in the dust on my table. Had to take a break :)

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  3. Margot; Good addition!

    Carol; I understand completely. After writing a four letter word (carefully chosen, of course) a break is needed.

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  4. Oh Skippy has been looking over my shoulder. Love the list.

    Mason
    Thoughts in Progress

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  5. Touche with #10. My 50th high school reunion is coming up soon and I'm in charge of name tags. I'm putting yearbook photos on them (as soon as I figure out how).

    I also like #5. I have two wip, two first draft manuscripts on a "someday" shelf, and three short stories ready for revision. Am I productive or what? The answer is "or what." I haven't worked on any of them in two months.

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  6. Wishing you health, wealth and happiness all year through, and of course much success.

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  7. Love the list! Yes, there are definitely some other things I could be doing--but hey, those weeds in the garden aren't going anywhere... :)

    The new look for your blog is great!

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  8. Love the new bloggy look, Elspeth. I changed mine up as well. This list is terrific. I can always find other things to do besides write. Then I'm miserable.
    Karen

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  9. teehee--thank you for my Friday giggle! (not that I'm not already a little giddy on Friday...) I particularly like the speech. Some of the others hit just a little too close to home *shifty*

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  10. I disagree. I once asked myself what my pet was thinking and you know what happened? Instead of wasting time not writing, I had to write a book about it. Did you know that dogs only make good MC POVs when you're writing children's books?

    CD

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