Friday, February 12, 2010

Fun Friday

Writing Tips

I found this while hopping about the internet this week. Enjoy.

1. Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.

2. Never use no double negatives.

3. Use the semicolon properly, always where it is appropriate; and never where it is not.

4. Reserve the apostrophe for it's proper use and omit it where it is not needed.

5. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

6. No sentence fragments.

7. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

8. Avoid commas, that are not necessary.

9. When you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

10. A writer must not shift your point of view.

11. Do not overuse exclamation marks!!! (In fact, avoid them whenever possible!!!)

12. And do not start a sentence with a conjunction.

13. Place pronouns as closely as possible, especially in long sentences, as of ten or more words, to their antecedents.

14. Hyphenate only between syllables and avoid un-necessary hyphens.

15. Write all adverbial forms correct.

16. Don't use contractions.

17. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

18. It is incumbent on us to avoid archaisms.

19. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

20. Steer clear of incorrect verb forms that have snuck into the language.

21. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixed metaphors.

22. Avoid modernisms that sound flaky.

23. Avoid barbarisms: they impact too forcefully.

24. Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

25. Everyone should be careful to use singular pronouns with singular nouns in their writing.

26. If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times: avoid hyperbole.

27. Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.

28. Do not string a large number of prepositional phrases together unless you are walking through the valley of the shadow of death.

29. Always pick on the the correct idiom.

30. "Avoid overuse of 'quotation' 'marks.'"

31. Never use more words than are necessary to get your point across: be concise.

32. Awayz check you're spelling. (Your spellchecker would only pick up one of the two errors here.)

33. Always be avoided by the passive voice.

34. Every sentence a verb.

35. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague: seek viable alternatives.

21 comments:

  1. This is such a funny post. I love it!

    ann

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  2. Hmmm. Well, this IS funny. I would laugh harder, but I've made each of these errors...and continue to make them. Sigh.

    Best Wishes Galen.
    Imagineering Fiction Blog

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  3. Ann Elle; Great!

    Dorte: It IS funny, isn't it?

    Galen; Who says I haven't made them too?

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  4. They are! I have been trying to teach my students several of these :D

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  5. Karen; Indeed. Well said.

    Carol; I love YOUR top tens!

    Dorte; Good luck.

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  6. No wonder you "is" such, a very good writer!!! And funny too;

    All the world's eyes are on you tonight. Go Canada!

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  7. Alan; We've got live coverage of the torch as it winds its way through the city. It's amazing. I've got 2 friends in the ceremony tonight.

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  8. Alan; Yes, do. They'll be the ones wearing the big "Friend of Elspeth" signs. It was hell getting the costumers to agree to it.

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  9. That was fun!! They made me laugh!

    Enjoy the ceremony tonight - I'll be watching with you :)

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  10. Good grief, I thought I was reading a student draft!

    (For the record, I typically dislike putting down student writing -- besides, I find that I often wind up making the same mistakes in my draft after seeing their most common ones day after day. And I'm grading papers all weekend, which stresses me out...)

    :P

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  11. Those are hilarious! And oh, how I wish I was a watcher of television right now. Our neighbour in the log cabin down the road has a large and beautifully painted GO CANADA GO sign displayed in his yard... huh. I wonder if he has cable and a big screen tv?

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  12. Hilarious!!!
    And don't the Olympics start today?

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  13. CUTE! I gave you a big mention on today's blog. You inspired me!

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  14. Very cute! Although I have to say, I have seen "snuck" used so often that it seems to be becoming acceptable. I'm smiling at this list.

    Which reminds me that I gave you the You Are My Sunshine Award today.

    Helen
    Straight From Hel

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  15. I did a post just like this a year ago or so, but gawd it's STILL so darn funny. Cool thing is, the reverse meaning actually TEACHES well, hmm? lol.

    Marvin D Wilson

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