
Wherein I endeavour to share writerly advice lightened with humour, pictures and a dollop of 1930s-1940s history.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Emotions

Friday, February 5, 2010
Fun Friday

Happy Friday!Welcome to the second installment of Fun Friday. I hope you enjoy these jokes I've discoveredwhile surfing the net this week. Have a wonderful weekend.Q: How many agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?Agent #1: Sorry, we're not accepting screw in light bulbs anymore. Bayonets only, and we only get them from the store.
Agent #2: We considered your light bulb but it's a bit too modern. Have you tried turning it into a candle?
Agent #3: Loved your light bulb. Great light. Lots of illumination. Unfortunately, the agency's decided to remain in the dark indefinitely.
***I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She answered, "If I tell you, it will defeat the purpose."***Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says "Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish."
The photographer went first. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The journalist went next. "I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean,with no money worries." The genie granted him his wish and sent him off.
Last, but not least, it was the editor's turn. "And what would your wish be?" asked the genie.
"I want them both back after lunch," replied the editor, "the deadline for tomorrow's newspaper is in ten hours.
***
Writer's block is when your imaginary friends won't talk to you.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Stereotypes

The Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies are next Friday and foreign journalists are flooding into Vancouver. How can we spot them? Many of them are walking around sweating in their fur-lined parkas. It's not cold here; in fact, it's so warm snow is being trucked in from BC's interior to help 'snow up' on of our local city mountains where some of the aerial ski-ing is to take place. Cherry trees are beginning to blossom. I've got flowers coming up in my garden.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Oh Sock, Where Art Thou?

There have been unsolved mysteries since the beginning of history. Did Atlantis really exist? How was Stonehenge built and what was it used for? What was the fate of the little Princes in the Tower? What happened to Amelia Earhart? But the biggest unsolved mystery of all...
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Hot and Cold

Why, oh why, is it not possible to write on command? Or, more precisely, why is it not possible to write well on command? I'm sure there are legions of writers who can do this, I humbly confess, I cannot.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Why Do We Write?

I believe every writer in the world has their own answer to this question. There are no wrong answers, but there are politically incorrect ones.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Fun Friday

It's Friday! Rejoice! In honour of this special day, I'm starting a new tradition here at "It's a Mystery", Fun Friday. Jokes and funny stories about writing will be the order of the day. I hope you enjoy this first installment. The travel mug at the top of today's post makes me snigger. It reads "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
#1: "...Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes."
#2: "What do you do for a living?"
#1: "I'm a stockbroker. How much do you make?
#2: "I should clear $60,000 this year."
#3: "Gee... hmmm... I guess about $13,000."
#1: "Oh yeah? What kind of stories do you write?"
A. Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
***
A: Ten
1st draft. Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft. Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft. Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft. Lose the light bulb.
5th draft. Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft. Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero's mentor.
7th draft. Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft. Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft. Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn't change it.
10th draft. Hero changes light bulb.
***
This joke is especially for at least two of you who work in linguistics. With love.
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Preparation

My eldest at-home daughter is hip-high in final exams so she has spent most of this week reviewing and studying. Luckily, she's a very good student, so these exams shouldn't be too difficult. She's prepared.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Twists and Turns

Every genre has its own quirks. Romances have to be happy without inflicting instant diabetes. Thrillers must incorporate 'edge of your seat' scenarios. Sci-fi must transport its readers to new worlds with wondrous possibilities and unimagined dangers. Mysteries must have twists and turns.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Habits We Have

Writing this blog has brought me many unexpected pleasures, not the least of which is having all of you *come* into my life! However, it has also made me examine how I write and has brought some of my habits into sharp relief.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Writing a Custom Game

Those of you who know me on Facebook or Twitter might know from my recent updates that I've just accepted a new commission to write a mystery game for a former customer. This is always fun and always exciting, but I thought it might be interesting to demonstrate the different thought process for writing a custom game as opposed to a writing project that completely your own.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Heros and Villains

Every plot, no matter its genre, will have a good guy and a bad guy. Our hero/heroine is wanting to achieve something and our villain is trying to achieve the opposite. Good versus evil. Clear sides. Excellent.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Return of the Sheep

Guardian: Welcome back to the writer's brain. I thought I wouldn't be seeing you again.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Voice

Every writer is exhorted to 'find their voice'. Don't imitate anyone else, we are told, write like you.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Inspirations

Inspirations materialize in a myriad of guises. It could be a memory from school. It could be the odd woman in the grocery store. It could be a newspaper article. It could be a piece of art. Every time it's unique.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Thoughts From the Voyage

Friday, January 15, 2010
Just Keep Writing

Quick post today to say I haven't time to post! I'm channelling my inner Dory "Just keep writing, writing, writing,..."
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Lessons I Have Learned

I enjoy writing. I've always enjoyed writing; except for writing exams back in school and some of those assigned essays were monsters. But as I continue along this road and (hopefully) improve in my craft, I have learned several valuable lessons. I'm sure most of you know these already, but reminders never hurt. Right?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Rules of Play

Every story has a plot. Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl. Hero saves the world from multi-flippered aliens. Murder committed, murder solved. One thing every plot has in common is it has to make sense. Logic is key.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Let's Start at the very Beginning...*

It's time. New project time. It might be a short story, a novella or a novel, but you're about to dive into the pool. How do you approach that first draft?
Monday, January 11, 2010
Time

When we were little, time took longer. It did. Summer vacations lasted forever. Next week was far away. Next month almost unimaginable. We knew we would grow up one day; I can remember figuring out with my friends how old we would be in 2000. But the age seemed unreal. It was simply too far in the future.
Friday, January 8, 2010
First Friday

It's the first Friday of a New Year. Resolutions are either being kept or have been abandoned alongside the trash can waiting for pick up. The decorations are put away, the baking is eaten, the turkey destroyed. Time for fun!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Making it Count

Achievement. Everyone has a different concept of its meaning. For some, it's a shiny trophy. For others, it's financial independence. For some, it's recognition by their peers. Whatever your definition of achievement is, it also seems to be understood that you worked to get there. It wasn't handed to you on a silver platter. It took time, tears and sweat.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Who The Heck Are YOU??

I prepare before I write. I do. I know my setting. I know my history. Plot-wise, I know the identity of the victim. I know the identity of the killer. I know all the suspects' motives. I know who's good and who has evil lurking in their heart. I know, gosh-darn-it.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Good Enough...Isn't

I'm not a perfectionist. Truly. I don't scream if my spices aren't alphabetized or if someone changes the order of how the cds line up. I don't vacuum everyday. (Although that just may make me a sloppy housekeeper.) I don't hit the roof if my kids' bedrooms aren't magazine-perfect. But when it comes to my writing? This is when my heavily cloaked perfectionist pulls off her hood, opens her mouth and screams at the top of her lungs. It's somewhat off-putting.
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year, New Business

