In honour of yesterday's Oscars, I'm handing out a few of the little golden bald guys.
Best Writing: That piece which sprung, uninvited yet fully-formed, into your head last night during your last moments of consciousness. Isn't it a pity you didn't make the effort to turn the light back on, and scribble something down? Ah...irony. Not a fan?
Best Supporting Character: That character who kept loitering around the corners of your manuscript. He shared the occasional joke, helped your protagonist change a flat tire, pointed out the location of the band gazebo, but you never figured out exactly
what he was doing there and
why you couldn't edit him out. It was when you were doing your final editing passes that you realized without him, the plot falls apart.
Best Character: No, it's not your protagonist - although I'm sure he/she has given a stellar performance. This award goes to that character who made you laugh. On those dark writing days, when you're sure your slippers have more writing talent than you, a character who makes you smile is worth their weight in gold and certainly worth a little golden bald guy.
Best Picture: The award goes to the project you just started working on - or are just about to start working on. It's shiny, it's exciting, it's keeping you up late at night. Uh-oh. (Remember Best Writing award-winner?).
