Monday, February 14, 2011

Love Letters

Day 1

My most beloved Manuscript;

Where have you been all my life? I love you. I love your characters, your plot, your humour. I love me for having the imagination to create you! Working on you will be a joy. I look forward to every minute we're going to spend together.

Welcome to my life.

Day 15

Dear Manuscript;

Thanks so much for showing me the way out that corner I wrote myself into, although if you hadn't insisted on that monkey showing up I wouldn't have been in the corner to begin with.

Let's just let bygones be bygones.

Day 30

To Whom it May Concern;

I thought we had a deal; I was the boss. What on earth are you doing? The plot is going in an entirely new direction and I don't even recognize some of these characters. And where on earth are you going with this whole 'monkey gets a pet fish' subplot? I feel as if I'm writing in circles. I'll keep going simply because of the memories of the good old days. Golden times. You might want to try throwing me a little gold right now.

It couldn't hurt.

Day 45

Dear Mr. M;

It's over. I know I said I loved you and I know we've spent a lot of time together; but I'm done. The things about you that used to enchant me now make me nauseous. Your dialogue is forced and your characters are flat. And don't get me started about that stupid monkey and his dancing fish.

It's a sign of inner growth to know when you're trapped in a bad relationship and to be able to extricate yourself from it.

Good bye.

Some time later....

Dearest Manuscript;

How could I ever have doubted we were meant to be together? I know we've had our rough patches, but no relationship enjoys constant smooth seas. It's been a great ride; a wonderful adventure.

I mean it.


Oh look at the date; Deadline Day!

Bye bye.

Don't forget to write.

Crap. Wait! It was a joke...

P.S. You were right about the monkey.


  1. Ha ha you are So funny!! This cracks me up!

  2. Karen; Thanks. it's funny 'cause it's true.

  3. Oh Elspeth! I am filing this away to be used for a future MS(or perhaps the one in the drawer).
    Your comment is also so true!

  4. This is great! I think I might have written one of those letters. And perfect for Valentine's Day.

  5. Elspeth - Ah-hah! You have been talking to my manuscript about our relationship, haven't you? ;-). Seriously, I've getting going through exactly the same thing...

  6. Mary; I'm flattered to think you'd want to save it. Thank you.

    Carol; I *know* I've written one of these letters and been tempted to use far more colourful language!

    Margot; I think the relationship between most writers and their manuscripts is the true definition of love-hate. We obviously need help.

    Elizabeth; Thank you! I tryed to write something somewhat appropriate for the day.


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