10. Why do the snappiest snippets of dialogue always pop into my head as I'm dropping off to sleep? I've tried keeping the trusty pad of paper next to the bed. The dialogue dissolves as the first bit of ink sinks into the paper.
9. Why isn't my writing as polished on the page as it is in my head? Obviously, I have a leak between my brain and my fingers. Drastic measures may be necessary.
8. Why didn't I include a lovable monster in my plot? No, I'm not writing a fantasy. What's your point?
7. Why can't my self-editor ever go on holiday? I'll pay. Seriously.
6. Why is it when I have hours in which to write the writing refuses to come, but when I'm busy doing something else, I'm writing constantly in my head? Do these pieces get written down? See question #10.
5. Why hasn't someone invented the 'instant book' pill? Take this pill with the beverage of your choice (hint: wine is always good). Type.
4. Why isn't there a National Writing Day? Note: This is not a day for writing, but a day where writers are taken out for lunch and worshiped generally. A little worship never hurt anyone. Maybe a small statue.
3. When I tell people that I write mysteries, why is their usual reaction to widen their eyes, do a head tilt and make that high-pitched 'really?' sound? It's FICTION, people. I'm not going to pull out a gun or thrust poison down your throat. At least, not here.
2. Why do good-writing days only last for a day? What about the good-writing week? Or month? Note: If you enjoy this type of week or month, it's safest not to share this information. See question #3.
1. Why, even though I have all these questions, do I continue to write? Accept it and move on.