Friday, May 28, 2010

Fun Friday

These hilarious rules were sent to me a few days ago. All of us who live with cats will understand. Have a great weekend.



Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.

If you have to throw up, get to a chair or bed quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, any quality carpeting is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human's bare foot.

As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

Always sleep on the human at night so he/she doesn't move around too much.

When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.

Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, then turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget guests.


  1. Since a cat once allowed me to share its home, I fully understand these rules. Hope your weekend is great!

  2. Elspeth - Thanks for these rules; they are *hilarious!* I don't happen to share my life with a cat, but I know several people who do, and these rules certainly seem to apply! Of course, "dog rules" are interesting, too...

  3. I don't have cats but my sister does and this list describes them to a tee. Super Funny!


  4. That is so funny. I haven't had a pet in years, but I remember the cat my mom had when I was young -- it truly could not stand it when she went in the bathroom and closed the door. It would even stick its paw underneath the door and stretch it as far in as possible.

  5. *snickersnort* I LOVE cat thoughts. One of my favorites is this:

    Dog: "You feed me. You must be God!"

    Cat: "You feed me. I must be God!"

    And you failed to mention the rule about maximum contrast for cat hair (in any rule, rub against the clothing that has the greatest contrast)

  6. I'm not a cat person, but these are hilarious!

    Thanks for making me laugh.


  7. Yeah, this reminds me of my cat. Except she adds in things like sharpening her teeth on my ankles.

  8. LOL, I think my cats wrote those rules.

  9. I use to live with two cats and I say Amen to this post. You really never get to relax around a cat, if you do well...they won't let you. As you note, if you close a door to nap a cat will pound on it until you are insane. If you leave the door open the cat will quietly get close to your face and stare. Even if they appear to be sleeping and notice you are relaxing they (the cat) will think of something to keep you on your toes.

    Cute post.

  10. Never had a cat, but this is great anyway.


Please leave a comment as I love to hear from you!