Monday, February 27, 2012

And the Winner Is...

In honour of yesterday's Oscars, I'm handing out a few of the little golden bald guys.

Best Writing: That piece which sprung, uninvited yet fully-formed, into your head last night during your last moments of consciousness. Isn't it a pity you didn't make the effort to turn the light back on, and scribble something down? Ah...irony. Not a fan?

Best Supporting Character: That character who kept loitering around the corners of your manuscript. He shared the occasional joke, helped your protagonist change a flat tire, pointed out the location of the band gazebo, but you never figured out exactly what he was doing there and why you couldn't edit him out. It was when you were doing your final editing passes that you realized without him, the plot falls apart.

Best Character: No, it's not your protagonist - although I'm sure he/she has given a stellar performance. This award goes to that character who made you laugh. On those dark writing days, when you're sure your slippers have more writing talent than you, a character who makes you smile is worth their weight in gold and certainly worth a little golden bald guy.

Best Picture: The award goes to the project you just started working on - or are just about to start working on. It's shiny, it's exciting, it's keeping you up late at night.  Uh-oh. (Remember Best Writing award-winner?).

9 comments:

  1. Excellent! We missed most of the Oscars due to a Bell fibre-optic (it's magic!) glitch. These ones are better!

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    1. I enjoyed Billy Crystal and the Cirque de Soleil performance was breathtaking.

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  2. Elspeth - I just love these awards!! I am now going to keep a pad and pen by my bed. You never know when Madam Muse will visit...

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    1. I really recommend turning on the light. It saves you having to try to clean ink off the sheets. Not that I'd know this.

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  3. Good ones!! Thanks for handing out the golden bald guys!

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  4. I watch the between the award stuff and fast forward through the acceptance speeches. The best part was Angelina Jolie's odd pose to show off her leg, and the JCPenney commercial with Ellen DeGeneris.

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    1. That girl has got to eat - her arms are terrifyingly thin. Unfortunately I didn't see the Ellen ad since we get a Canadian feed. However, I'm sure it was funny. She's great.

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  5. I love all those "Best Characters"!

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