10 Things You Have To Do Before Writing (usually)

You sit down with the best of intentions, abrim with ambition. You've got a whole hour to write. Your output is going to be outstanding. You know this. But first...

10. Just a quick check of your emails. Oh look, a message from someone you haven't heard from in a while. Reply. Then remember that funny joke that got sent to you yesterday. Forward it on to several people.

9. Now a quick check of Facebook to read status updates. These demand several comments. And look, some of your friends have posted pictures that demand comments as well. The urge is there to play a few games...

8. Having squashed the urge to play a few games of whatever on Facebook, you reward yourself with a game of Solitaire. You'll only play once. Really.

7. Somehow, your coffee has gotten cold. Go and refill it. Then remember you haven't taken anything out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. Open your freezer and spend the next 15 minutes trying to discover what's in all those tin-foil packages. Good luck.

6. Looking into the freezer has made you hungry. Make a light snack and carry it back to where you're writing.

5. As you watch a giant blop of mayonnaise fall and puddle on your keyboard, tell yourself that perhaps you haven't made the correct choice of snacks.

4. Try to ignore your pet, who is dancing at your feet demanding your attention; after all, you're busy writing. Notice that the dancing is getting more and more frantic. Feel sorry for the animal and give it just a few moments of your attention.

3. Remember you haven't popped onto Twitter. It'll only take a moment.

2. As you're on Twitter (hey, there are some really good links you have to check out) you see you've got notifications of three new emails.

1. Look at your computer clock and notice your writing time seems to have flown away. Remember that last time you wrote, you remembered to disconnect from the internet. Try to ignore the impulse to bang your head against the wall.