Friday, January 29, 2010

Fun Friday



It's Friday! Rejoice! In honour of this special day, I'm starting a new tradition here at "It's a Mystery", Fun Friday. Jokes and funny stories about writing will be the order of the day. I hope you enjoy this first installment. The travel mug at the top of today's post makes me snigger. It reads "I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."

***

THREE GUYS ARE SITTING AT A BAR:

#1: "...Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes."

#2: "What do you do for a living?"

#1: "I'm a stockbroker. How much do you make?

#2: "I should clear $60,000 this year."

#1: "What do you do?"

#2: "I'm an architect."

The third guy has been sitting there quietly, staring into his beer, when the others turn to him.

#2: "Hey, how much do you make per year?"

#3: "Gee... hmmm... I guess about $13,000."

#1: "Oh yeah? What kind of stories do you write?"


***

Q. How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

***

Q: How many screenwriters does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Ten
1st draft. Hero changes light bulb.
2nd draft. Villain changes light bulb.
3rd draft. Hero stops villain from changing light bulb. Villain falls to death.
4th draft. Lose the light bulb.
5th draft. Light bulb back in. Fluorescent instead of tungsten.
6th draft. Villain breaks bulb, uses it to kill hero's mentor.
7th draft. Fluorescent not working. Back to tungsten.
8th draft. Hero forces villain to eat light bulb.
9th draft. Hero laments loss of light bulb. Doesn't change it.
10th draft. Hero changes light bulb.

***

This joke is especially for at least two of you who work in linguistics. With love.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."



24 comments:

  1. These are all great! Wonderful addition to your blog. We can all use a good laugh anytime.

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  2. I love the one about the mystery writer!

    And I think I will have to share the last one with my English classes :D

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  3. What a cool idea for a weekly feature on a writer's blog. Loved these, lol!

    Marvin D Wilson

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  4. Carol, Dorte, Old Silly; I'm glad you've enjoyed it. Happy Friday!

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  5. Those were great! I'm all for the Friday funnies- I can certainly use them!

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  6. Elspeth - What a faaaabooooo idea! Thanks for starting it : ). I appreciate the much needed laughs : ). Enjoy the week-end

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  7. I seem to have had a good idea. Let Fun Friday flourish!

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  8. Ha! Joke #1 made me laugh out loud (footnote: you would have to knock off a couple of zeros, though, for it to refer to most of my internet friends...) I like the new feature.

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  9. Love the new feature! Thanks for the smiles :)

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  10. I like the new feature a lot - everyone needs a laugh on a Friday :)

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  11. Alan; I did as well.

    Deb; You're welcome.

    Dez: I thought you'd appreciate the screenwriter one.

    Jemi; I'm glad you like it. Laughs are always good.

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  12. Hi! Thank you for the follow! Happy Friday to ya!

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  13. This is a great idea, Elspeth. Laughter is good for what ails us.

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  14. Sorry I missed these yesterday, I could have used the laugh. But they're still helpful this morning too. Love the new Friday feature and the coffee mug.

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  15. Writers jokes. This is the first I have heard any. Thanks for the humor. Made my morning.

    Stephen Tremp

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  16. These are wonderful, Elspeth. What a great idea. Look forward to this regular new feature. And thanks so much for your kind comments about my mother-in-law.
    Karen

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  17. I love this new tradition! Yay for funny writer's jokes.

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  18. Really enjoyed the first joke - sad but funny (and true!). Glad to have stumbled here via Lauri's place.

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  19. I'm loving these Elspeth...it's even better that I found this post on a Monday...I needed a good laugh to start my week!

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